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David Kirtley's avatar

I figured I would "Weigh in" on this.

I should move to NYC. If I put on some more weight back on, I could make a good living just suing people. Just study a bit so I can represent myself pro se so I don't have to pay a lawyer.

Your booth is too small. Pay up. Your portions won't sustain my weight. Pay up. You don't have an elevator in the building. Pay up. The door on the taxi is too small. Pay up. There is not enough room in the toilet. Pay up. You didn't let me into the nightclub with the beautiful people. Pay up.

Throw in a few employment applications a week to round things out. I think I will start as a Chippendale's dancer. Lots of modeling agencies in town as well.

With a little planning, I could file at least 2-3 lawsuits a day. Of course I would have to pace myself. Going around doing that might burn off too many calories.

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Britton Vincent's avatar

Don’t forget Randy Newman’s Short People, a big hit in 1977

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