The Christmas Number One hit that’s too hot for the BBC

As elderly Brits brace for a cold winter, a new satirical song turns up the heat on glaring political failures.

Across the pond, the UK has a tradition of Christmas number one songs — tunes battling for the top spot on the charts in the lead-up to Christmas Day.

Sometimes they’re heartfelt charity singles like Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” Other times, they’re ridiculous novelties like Benny Hill’s “Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West).” But every now and then, a song comes along that cuts straight to the bone.

Enter this year’s contender: “Freezing This Christmas.”

This biting parody takes aim at Prime Minister Keir Starmer, who, in a display of classic political brilliance, decided to scrap winter fuel payments for millions of elderly citizens. The BBC explains:

The winter fuel payment was previously paid to all pensioners to help with energy costs during the coldest period of the year.

But in July, the government said future payments in England and Wales would go only to those on low incomes who received specified benefits such as pension credit.

The changes mean that more than 10 million pensioners will not receive a payment for winter 2024.

The song was masterminded by freelance writer Chris Middleton and Rat Pack tribute singer Dean Ager. It borrows the melody from a 1974 song by a band called Mud (“Lonely This Christmas”) to deliver some razor-sharp commentary on the grim reality of an aging population left out in the cold — literally. Proceeds from the track go to Age UK to help those most affected by this stunningly Malthusian policy decision.

Here’s a taste of the lyrics:

Try to imagine a house that’s full of cold,
Try to imagine being 80 years old,
That’s where I’ll be since Keir left me,
I wish tears could heat my home.

What can I do without fuel?
I’ve got no place, no place to go,
It’ll be freezing this Christmas without fuel at home,
It’ll be freezing this Christmas while Keir Starmer is warm.

Ouch! That’s the kind of satire that doesn’t just sting — it burns. Meanwhile, the BBC has decided to play it safe (or spineless, depending on your view) by refusing to air the song. The official excuse? Playlist choices are made “with their audience in mind.” Translation: We can’t have our cozy little broadcasting bubble disrupted by a song that calls out political failures.

Critics, including a few Tory MPs, are calling foul. They accuse the BBC of bias for sidelining the track. And honestly, they’ve got a point. If pensioners freezing in their homes isn’t controversial enough to merit airtime, what is?

Middleton and Ager have taken their fight to the public, accusing major stations of stifling their message and kneecapping the song’s chances of clinching the coveted Christmas number one spot. But even if it doesn’t win, “Freezing This Christmas” has already achieved something far greater — it’s exposing the cracks in a society that’s increasingly leaving its most vulnerable out in the cold.

The duo’s song, and the refusal by the State broadcaster to play it, is better than the admission the Emperor has no clothes — it’s that he has no clothes and there’s significant shrinkage, to boot!

Because let’s face it, this song isn’t just about Christmas. It’s about the creeping reality of a system that prioritizes cost-cutting over compassion. What happens when we abandon our elders? When does the frostbite spread to the rest of us?

If you want to make a statement — and maybe help someone stay warm this winter — stream or buy (affiliate link) “Freezing This Christmas.” Every download supports Age UK and sends a message that this kind of neglect won’t be tolerated.

Winter is here, folks. And for far too many, it’s not bringing joy — it’s bringing survival mode. Wake up. Before it’s too late.

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