As a society, when we label and optimize every human instinct for social media and commodification, we invite the system to score, track, and eventually override us.
Labelling dissociates us and more receptive to ‘external authorities. This is why it is so dangerous , as you spell out. What you have so profoundly written about in trends in Parenting, is also about commodifying child rearing into products. Everything that use to be freely given is now for sale , even its with a cuddly AI.
People already leave child care to the screen , in all its formats to entrain children almost from Birth. This future is already here.
I think that something else is going on that is more disturbing.
The parents are not longer a balance. The "gentle parenting" was the work of the mother. The "FAFO" was the realm of the father. Both are needed. The mother kisses things and makes them better and takes care of you unconditionally. The father encourages to take risks and accept consequences. They were also the one to come in and shut down the problems when things got out of control. It is not a competition to see which works better. They are both necessary for the rearing of children. Only receiving one or the other exclusively is problematic.
I am not troubled by calling it by a some new name. A rose by any other name still smells the same.
With only the gentle parenting by parents and in the schools, you get the participation trophies. Focus on feeling good over having something accomplishment to be proud of. Ridiculous concepts of fairness.
With only the FAFO parenting and schools, you get utracompetiveness and bullies. No moderation and you have kids growing up on the island of the Lord of the Flies.
It really isn't gender based. Any parent can take up either role. It is just either role being used in isolation is problematic.
🎯 I wasn’t going to comment. I’m glad you did. As an involuntary househusband (Mr. Mom, 1981, Michael Keaton & Terri Garr), yes, I agree that a parent can take either role - practical roles, emotional roles. I do most of a housewife’s work, but my parenting style is masculine & fatherly & FAFO 😂
Anyway, that’s not what I wasn’t going to comment on. Here’s what I wasn’t going to say: Children need a mom & a dad, married for life. And the mom needs to be home 24/7/365.
In our family, we compensate. Mom makes the money, but she mostly works from home. That’s the good news. Psychologically, the children perceive their mother at home, basically 24/7/365 (even though she’s constantly working, plus she’s sometimes away from home during the day).
I’m pretty sure that our gov’t-industry collusion fascist AI is **not** going to tell us that proper parenting requires both a mom and a dad, married forever, plus a stay-a-home-mom 24/7/365 😂😂😂
No parenting “style” can compensate for divorce, nor for a mother employed f/t outside the home. Mother Nature says so; it doesn’t matter what god you’re praying to - or not praying to - Mother Nature wires us a certain way. Reality is reality. Again, FAFO 😂
I think that it is great if you have a functioning mother and father. I also recognize that there are a large number of parents that that are worse than having none.
I am also not a stickler for "traditional" two parent family structure. Throughout history, people lived in extended families with mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandparents and more with all sharing in the raising of children. This whole idea of young parents moving out of the home and roughing it on their own is a pretty new and relatively untested configuration.
For the majority of human history, neither parent worked away from the home. It didn't matter if it was on a farm or living in the family business in a more urban setting. The children were part of the functioning of the home as well. They had responsibility from an early age. That's why we had school close in the summer and early fall when it was all hands on deck.
👍🙂 We seem to be in agreement. And as I am recovered from the lifelong effects of childhood trauma, abuse, & neglect, I’m very aware of dysfunctional family systems. Many children indeed are better off without one (or both!) of their natural parents - but my assertion stands: child psychological development demands a loving mother & a loving father, who complement each other psycho-socio-economically.
Again, we’re in agreement on the the extended family filling motherly & fatherly roles in our culture or other cultures, and throughout time.
Actually, by the way we evolved it does “take a village to raise a child.” That’s why I’m a socialist, anti-communist, & anti-capitalist. And it’s why ten years ago & at my suggestion we moved the family (5 kids) from my native USA to my wife’s native Japan, which I deem the modern world’s best kept secret, & greatest socialist success story of the post-WW2 era. Simply, the Japanese socioeconomic system still supports marriage, housewives, children, & extended family relationships. For whatever reasons, 2nd-wave “feminism” family-breakdown has not (yet) taken hold here.
Finally, once again in agreement on the Anglo (British culture, not white race) cultural dysfunction in marriage & child rearing. Yes, it’s sick as hell to expect 18-year-olds to hit the ground running in today’s economy. The cost of living practically guarantees failure.
I’ll add that the privatization of marriage is an anti-scientific belief system. Marriage is a social affair (not a communist affair but a social affair). The marital contract always involves society, not just the groom & bride; the privatization of marriage & child rearing goes against the nature of our species. The privatization of marriage & the privatization of child rearing come part ‘n’ parcel with the 1960’s style 2nd-wave “feminism.” Net result = “taking the class outta middle class,” as I call it 😂 And thereby Family Power is transferred to the State in proper communistic fashion 😡
👍🙂 We seem to be in agreement. And as I am recovered from the lifelong effects of childhood trauma, abuse, & neglect, I’m very aware of dysfunctional family systems. Many children indeed are better off without one (or both!) of their natural parents - but my assertion stands: child psychological development demands a loving mother & a loving father, who complement each other psycho-socio-economically.
Again, we’re in agreement on the the extended family filling motherly & fatherly roles in our culture or other cultures, and throughout time.
Actually, by the way we evolved it does “take a village to raise a child.” That’s why I’m a socialist, anti-communist, & anti-capitalist. And it’s why ten years ago & at my suggestion we moved the family (5 kids) from my native USA to my wife’s native Japan, which I deem the modern world’s best kept secret, & greatest socialist success story of the post-WW2 era. Simply, the Japanese socioeconomic system still supports marriage, housewives, children, & extended family relationships. For whatever reasons, 2nd-wave “feminism” family-breakdown has not (yet) taken hold here.
Finally, once again in agreement on the Anglo (British culture, not white race) cultural dysfunction in marriage & child rearing. Yes, it’s sick as hell to expect 18-year-olds to hit the ground running in today’s economy. The cost of living practically guarantees failure.
I’ll add that the privatization of marriage is an anti-scientific belief system. Marriage is a social affair (not a communist affair but a social affair). The marital contract always involves society, not just the groom & bride; the privatization of marriage & child rearing goes against the nature of our species. The privatization of marriage & the privatization of child rearing come part ‘n’ parcel with the 1960’s style 2nd-wave “feminism.” Net result = “taking the class outta middle class,” as I call it 😂 And thereby Family Power is transferred to the State in proper communistic fashion 😡
There is Nothing New under the sun ,,,, that was 1960s 70s. Parenting ,,, Only 2 choices for family meals - All meals were family meals ! , Eat it & say Thank You or go to bed hungry,,,
Every child walked or used Public Transport to get to school , We Rarely saw a fat child x 2 in my class ! To top it all ANY adult could scold us , no questions asked,
Labelling dissociates us and more receptive to ‘external authorities. This is why it is so dangerous , as you spell out. What you have so profoundly written about in trends in Parenting, is also about commodifying child rearing into products. Everything that use to be freely given is now for sale , even its with a cuddly AI.
People already leave child care to the screen , in all its formats to entrain children almost from Birth. This future is already here.
I think that something else is going on that is more disturbing.
The parents are not longer a balance. The "gentle parenting" was the work of the mother. The "FAFO" was the realm of the father. Both are needed. The mother kisses things and makes them better and takes care of you unconditionally. The father encourages to take risks and accept consequences. They were also the one to come in and shut down the problems when things got out of control. It is not a competition to see which works better. They are both necessary for the rearing of children. Only receiving one or the other exclusively is problematic.
I am not troubled by calling it by a some new name. A rose by any other name still smells the same.
With only the gentle parenting by parents and in the schools, you get the participation trophies. Focus on feeling good over having something accomplishment to be proud of. Ridiculous concepts of fairness.
With only the FAFO parenting and schools, you get utracompetiveness and bullies. No moderation and you have kids growing up on the island of the Lord of the Flies.
It really isn't gender based. Any parent can take up either role. It is just either role being used in isolation is problematic.
🎯 I wasn’t going to comment. I’m glad you did. As an involuntary househusband (Mr. Mom, 1981, Michael Keaton & Terri Garr), yes, I agree that a parent can take either role - practical roles, emotional roles. I do most of a housewife’s work, but my parenting style is masculine & fatherly & FAFO 😂
Anyway, that’s not what I wasn’t going to comment on. Here’s what I wasn’t going to say: Children need a mom & a dad, married for life. And the mom needs to be home 24/7/365.
In our family, we compensate. Mom makes the money, but she mostly works from home. That’s the good news. Psychologically, the children perceive their mother at home, basically 24/7/365 (even though she’s constantly working, plus she’s sometimes away from home during the day).
I’m pretty sure that our gov’t-industry collusion fascist AI is **not** going to tell us that proper parenting requires both a mom and a dad, married forever, plus a stay-a-home-mom 24/7/365 😂😂😂
No parenting “style” can compensate for divorce, nor for a mother employed f/t outside the home. Mother Nature says so; it doesn’t matter what god you’re praying to - or not praying to - Mother Nature wires us a certain way. Reality is reality. Again, FAFO 😂
I think that it is great if you have a functioning mother and father. I also recognize that there are a large number of parents that that are worse than having none.
I am also not a stickler for "traditional" two parent family structure. Throughout history, people lived in extended families with mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandparents and more with all sharing in the raising of children. This whole idea of young parents moving out of the home and roughing it on their own is a pretty new and relatively untested configuration.
For the majority of human history, neither parent worked away from the home. It didn't matter if it was on a farm or living in the family business in a more urban setting. The children were part of the functioning of the home as well. They had responsibility from an early age. That's why we had school close in the summer and early fall when it was all hands on deck.
👍🙂 We seem to be in agreement. And as I am recovered from the lifelong effects of childhood trauma, abuse, & neglect, I’m very aware of dysfunctional family systems. Many children indeed are better off without one (or both!) of their natural parents - but my assertion stands: child psychological development demands a loving mother & a loving father, who complement each other psycho-socio-economically.
Again, we’re in agreement on the the extended family filling motherly & fatherly roles in our culture or other cultures, and throughout time.
Actually, by the way we evolved it does “take a village to raise a child.” That’s why I’m a socialist, anti-communist, & anti-capitalist. And it’s why ten years ago & at my suggestion we moved the family (5 kids) from my native USA to my wife’s native Japan, which I deem the modern world’s best kept secret, & greatest socialist success story of the post-WW2 era. Simply, the Japanese socioeconomic system still supports marriage, housewives, children, & extended family relationships. For whatever reasons, 2nd-wave “feminism” family-breakdown has not (yet) taken hold here.
Finally, once again in agreement on the Anglo (British culture, not white race) cultural dysfunction in marriage & child rearing. Yes, it’s sick as hell to expect 18-year-olds to hit the ground running in today’s economy. The cost of living practically guarantees failure.
I’ll add that the privatization of marriage is an anti-scientific belief system. Marriage is a social affair (not a communist affair but a social affair). The marital contract always involves society, not just the groom & bride; the privatization of marriage & child rearing goes against the nature of our species. The privatization of marriage & the privatization of child rearing come part ‘n’ parcel with the 1960’s style 2nd-wave “feminism.” Net result = “taking the class outta middle class,” as I call it 😂 And thereby Family Power is transferred to the State in proper communistic fashion 😡
👍🙂 We seem to be in agreement. And as I am recovered from the lifelong effects of childhood trauma, abuse, & neglect, I’m very aware of dysfunctional family systems. Many children indeed are better off without one (or both!) of their natural parents - but my assertion stands: child psychological development demands a loving mother & a loving father, who complement each other psycho-socio-economically.
Again, we’re in agreement on the the extended family filling motherly & fatherly roles in our culture or other cultures, and throughout time.
Actually, by the way we evolved it does “take a village to raise a child.” That’s why I’m a socialist, anti-communist, & anti-capitalist. And it’s why ten years ago & at my suggestion we moved the family (5 kids) from my native USA to my wife’s native Japan, which I deem the modern world’s best kept secret, & greatest socialist success story of the post-WW2 era. Simply, the Japanese socioeconomic system still supports marriage, housewives, children, & extended family relationships. For whatever reasons, 2nd-wave “feminism” family-breakdown has not (yet) taken hold here.
Finally, once again in agreement on the Anglo (British culture, not white race) cultural dysfunction in marriage & child rearing. Yes, it’s sick as hell to expect 18-year-olds to hit the ground running in today’s economy. The cost of living practically guarantees failure.
I’ll add that the privatization of marriage is an anti-scientific belief system. Marriage is a social affair (not a communist affair but a social affair). The marital contract always involves society, not just the groom & bride; the privatization of marriage & child rearing goes against the nature of our species. The privatization of marriage & the privatization of child rearing come part ‘n’ parcel with the 1960’s style 2nd-wave “feminism.” Net result = “taking the class outta middle class,” as I call it 😂 And thereby Family Power is transferred to the State in proper communistic fashion 😡
There is Nothing New under the sun ,,,, that was 1960s 70s. Parenting ,,, Only 2 choices for family meals - All meals were family meals ! , Eat it & say Thank You or go to bed hungry,,,
Every child walked or used Public Transport to get to school , We Rarely saw a fat child x 2 in my class ! To top it all ANY adult could scold us , no questions asked,
Written as if it's straight from my heart...
Thanks for this!