Notes from the edge of civilization: August 16, 2026
Canada cosplay, eh!; calling all gamers; night of the living butt lift; plus, this week's signal map and an upcoming livestream on strategic relocation.
Miss Universe Canada asked contestants to wear costumes celebrating the country’s culture and heritage. Two of them obliged by wearing Indigenous-inspired outfits. One featured a feathered headdress and the other wore a fur dress, fur boots, and braids.
Boy, it didn’t take long for them to discover they had chosen the wrong culture to celebrate.
"It's 2026, we should know better," said former winner Ashley Callingbull, a Plains Cree woman from the Enoch Cree Nation. "Anything traditional or sacred should not be allowed. I was very, very upset."
The contestants apologized, the pageant apologized, and organizers promised a “comprehensive costume guide” to prevent future outbreaks of unauthorized Canadiana.
Next year, everyone should just wear a sari and carry a Tim Hortons cup. At least then they’ll look authentically Canadian.
The federal government has finally found a productive use for all those hours kids spent staring at screens: helping to keep airplanes from colliding.
The FAA has recruited more than 2,000 gamers to train as air traffic controllers, arguing that gaming develops the quick thinking, sustained focus, and ability to manage multiple streams of information the job requires. The campaign has helped the agency reach 94% of its hiring target.
So there you have it: being a nerd in your mother’s basement finally pays off.
There is, however, one fairly important difference. In a video game, if you crash the plane, kill everyone aboard, or die yourself, you simply press reset and try again. In an air traffic control tower, there are no extra lives. And your Mom (probably) won’t bring you Spaghetti-Os.
For decades, Americans have been told they had too much body fat. Now, thanks to Ozempic, there’s apparently not enough.
So, plastic surgeons are turning to dead bodies for spare parts. They’re injecting sterilized fat harvested from cadavers into patients who want fuller faces, boobs, and butts. That’s because GLP-1 users no longer have enough of their own fat to relocate.
The product, nicknamed “zombie filler,” can cost tens of thousands of dollars and is FDA-compliant rather than specifically FDA-approved. Just in case you were concerned.
No word on whether the FDA is going to extradite and imprison anyone for zombie fat production, like they did with this past weekend’s interview guest, Mark Grenon (What does God say about that?), and his novel Miracle Mineral Solution.
Harvesting dead people for vanity — what have we come to? Dead fat walking!
This week’s Signal Map runs from a national debt closing in on $40 trillion to disappearing pennies, stopping along the way to visit ads for chatbots and the return of Hunter Biden. Civilization is still doggedly committed to keeping all four quadrants full. (Click to enlarge if you find the text too small.)
Read the stories behind this week’s map:
AOC freezes her eggs → Associated Press
Hunter Biden’s media comeback → Wall Street Journal
US national debt approaches $40 trillion → US Treasury
Childhood vaccine schedule overhaul → White House
Jetstar charges for overhead-bin access → TravelPulse
Cash purchases rounded as the penny disappears → The Hill
Time sells advertising to AI bots → Digiday
Most preparedness plans begin with what to store. But what if the more important question is where to live?
Join us this coming Wednesday for an interactive livestream with Abraham Ojeda, founder of Overcome Babylon and author of a new book called Great Tribulation Survival Guide. We’ll examine strategic relocation from a scriptural perspective: the risks ahead, where safer places might be found, and how to decide whether moving is necessary.
The Case for Strategic Relocation: Where to Live in Uncertain Times
Wednesday, August 19 at 8:00 PM Eastern / 6:00 PM Mountain
Watch on YouTube or Substack. Log in to join the live discussion.