There's lots of submarine talk these days, so meet the Migaloo M5: a nuclear-powered phallus for billionaires fleeing collapse, dodging laws, and pretending their escape pod is a spiritual awakening.
I want one, but will it come with a breakdown service if I happen to venture down a trench a little too far, and it becomes a little squeaky and leaky. If that service isn't available, then I'm afraid I'm out.
This was hilarious. Thank you. I'm am now quite sure that the Ultra-Riche are also Ultra-Stupid. Why not do like the billionaire drug lords and buy old navy submarines from various governments. They can be had for a couple of million instead of a couple of billion. Who wouldn't want to be Captain Nemo but that was science fiction. This is just a farse.
If they´re out in international waters and presumably no longer bound by laws and jurisdictions then so are the bad guys. If container ships and oil tankers can be hijacked in international waters and held to ransom then I don´t fancy their chances much.
Well, unless the pirates have depth charges and mines, I think that they would do pretty well. That actually might be one of the best selling points. I was watching some videos explaining that the drug smugglers have gone to submersibles to avoid interdiction and they are doing fabulously.
Stupid marketing gobbledygook, aside, rather than an survivalist escape pod, it is pretty much the ultimate toy for people that have more money than they know what to do with. Personally, I like it. If I had a few extra billion dollars, I am all in. I didn't see the nuclear option but even the diesel electric is great, assuming you have the money to burn for the maintenance and operation.
On the practical side, assuming someone is stupid enough to actually buy the design that they have drawn up, they are going to be in a lot of trouble. There is nowhere near enough crew quarters and storage for long term cruising. The way a navy runs them is to have a bunch of support ships that go along with them carrying supplies and equipment. Even if they had a nuclear propulsion system for powering the sub, the helicopter, mini-subs, jet skis, jet boats and expedition vehicles need fuel. Add a couple support ships and you could get along pretty well.
Great article, well they won't survive if we get struck by a meteorite, or have a massive solar flare extinction event or sudden polar flip causing massive world-wide tsunami's. There won't be anything left when they re-surface :)
Dear Author, keep this in mind; "it takes significant number of very highly trained individuals to maintain, and operate these vessels". Do you think these Billionaires, know that they have to depend on "OTHERS"? Another issue is "compensation" of the staff. Do you know how a Pirate Ship operates? Lastly "food" and "refuel". I doubt that many of these Billionaires have thought about this in detail. "You can run, but you can't hide?" Other considerations; where do you PORT? What defenses does this ship have? Whose FLAG do they operate under?
This subject is very funny to me! Imagine that the Billionaire wishes to eat "fillet mignon" for dinner tonight on ship. He has to order at least three or four of identical plates. Three of them are to be eaten in front of him, lest they are poisoned, by the Chef who cooked it, the meat handler, and the Captain of the ship! Then there's the issue of "is there an antidote" and have the three already taken it? Then there's the issue of "the rest of the staff"? What do they eat? Porridge, NO! You can easily see and know how common things become quite complicated!
After you entertain these surface level issues, there's allot more to this than meets the eye! Know that your "trained staff" will not abandon their "LOVED ONES", whether it be children, wives, girlfriends, or boyfriends (for the women or gay men), (I omit others, although they exist in minority levels). Cull the passenger list, and resentment builds, quite rapidly, I may add. Just how does one quell this resentment? You know how! The ship will become a Pirate Ship! The funder and quite possibly his family, if not already "been served up for dinner" (Read the title "To Serve Man" or something like that, I forgot the title) - Cannibalism in "short order". There are other books that explain what happens in disorder, chaos. Summary; this isn't an easy subject for everyone, the "billionaire" must start out as a Pirate Ship, with hand picked crew, tough to do. Every member has to go through extensive testing, and be evaluated. Think Soviet Level shit, with a Compliance Officer who is the first to be dispatched.
It's a fun thought level experiment, the movie and book "Hunt for Red October" crosses this boundary at a surface level.
You have to have constant monitoring of staff, witnessing all conversations, (Police State), you have to have Psychologists aboard (to monitor subtle changes in the crew, lest they hold resentment), and you have to have an obedient and compliant Police staff, that only serve the Billionaire. Just how big is this ship?
Any idea how complicated this gets? The same applies to a "Bunker", or "Island Retreat", no matter how you slice this wonderful cheese cake, someone always ends up with a smaller piece, or no piece at all. The only observable plan for the Billionaire is one of benevolence. He is the "server at dinner", he has accommodated each crew members needs wants and desires! (It is impossible).
I want one, but will it come with a breakdown service if I happen to venture down a trench a little too far, and it becomes a little squeaky and leaky. If that service isn't available, then I'm afraid I'm out.
1 year/10,000 league warranty? Just bring it in to your nearest submechanic?
This was hilarious. Thank you. I'm am now quite sure that the Ultra-Riche are also Ultra-Stupid. Why not do like the billionaire drug lords and buy old navy submarines from various governments. They can be had for a couple of million instead of a couple of billion. Who wouldn't want to be Captain Nemo but that was science fiction. This is just a farse.
Loved it,
If they´re out in international waters and presumably no longer bound by laws and jurisdictions then so are the bad guys. If container ships and oil tankers can be hijacked in international waters and held to ransom then I don´t fancy their chances much.
Well, unless the pirates have depth charges and mines, I think that they would do pretty well. That actually might be one of the best selling points. I was watching some videos explaining that the drug smugglers have gone to submersibles to avoid interdiction and they are doing fabulously.
Stupid marketing gobbledygook, aside, rather than an survivalist escape pod, it is pretty much the ultimate toy for people that have more money than they know what to do with. Personally, I like it. If I had a few extra billion dollars, I am all in. I didn't see the nuclear option but even the diesel electric is great, assuming you have the money to burn for the maintenance and operation.
On the practical side, assuming someone is stupid enough to actually buy the design that they have drawn up, they are going to be in a lot of trouble. There is nowhere near enough crew quarters and storage for long term cruising. The way a navy runs them is to have a bunch of support ships that go along with them carrying supplies and equipment. Even if they had a nuclear propulsion system for powering the sub, the helicopter, mini-subs, jet skis, jet boats and expedition vehicles need fuel. Add a couple support ships and you could get along pretty well.
Great article, well they won't survive if we get struck by a meteorite, or have a massive solar flare extinction event or sudden polar flip causing massive world-wide tsunami's. There won't be anything left when they re-surface :)
Dear Author, keep this in mind; "it takes significant number of very highly trained individuals to maintain, and operate these vessels". Do you think these Billionaires, know that they have to depend on "OTHERS"? Another issue is "compensation" of the staff. Do you know how a Pirate Ship operates? Lastly "food" and "refuel". I doubt that many of these Billionaires have thought about this in detail. "You can run, but you can't hide?" Other considerations; where do you PORT? What defenses does this ship have? Whose FLAG do they operate under?
This subject is very funny to me! Imagine that the Billionaire wishes to eat "fillet mignon" for dinner tonight on ship. He has to order at least three or four of identical plates. Three of them are to be eaten in front of him, lest they are poisoned, by the Chef who cooked it, the meat handler, and the Captain of the ship! Then there's the issue of "is there an antidote" and have the three already taken it? Then there's the issue of "the rest of the staff"? What do they eat? Porridge, NO! You can easily see and know how common things become quite complicated!
After you entertain these surface level issues, there's allot more to this than meets the eye! Know that your "trained staff" will not abandon their "LOVED ONES", whether it be children, wives, girlfriends, or boyfriends (for the women or gay men), (I omit others, although they exist in minority levels). Cull the passenger list, and resentment builds, quite rapidly, I may add. Just how does one quell this resentment? You know how! The ship will become a Pirate Ship! The funder and quite possibly his family, if not already "been served up for dinner" (Read the title "To Serve Man" or something like that, I forgot the title) - Cannibalism in "short order". There are other books that explain what happens in disorder, chaos. Summary; this isn't an easy subject for everyone, the "billionaire" must start out as a Pirate Ship, with hand picked crew, tough to do. Every member has to go through extensive testing, and be evaluated. Think Soviet Level shit, with a Compliance Officer who is the first to be dispatched.
It's a fun thought level experiment, the movie and book "Hunt for Red October" crosses this boundary at a surface level.
You have to have constant monitoring of staff, witnessing all conversations, (Police State), you have to have Psychologists aboard (to monitor subtle changes in the crew, lest they hold resentment), and you have to have an obedient and compliant Police staff, that only serve the Billionaire. Just how big is this ship?
Any idea how complicated this gets? The same applies to a "Bunker", or "Island Retreat", no matter how you slice this wonderful cheese cake, someone always ends up with a smaller piece, or no piece at all. The only observable plan for the Billionaire is one of benevolence. He is the "server at dinner", he has accommodated each crew members needs wants and desires! (It is impossible).